As we arrive to Valentine’s Day, and are about to move to spring, I surface this great topic.  Vault’s 2011 Office Romance Survey (Vault.com) indicates that 59% of all employees have engaged in an office relationship.  If this is close to true, there is a lot of romance going on.

I would like to try to give you some reasons that Black sales professional might want to avoid that temptation.

The Office Relationship and the Sales Professional

An office relationship is so common, yet reveals the greatest of pitfalls for any sales professional, especially the Black sales professional.  Any relationship is an investment of time and effort; time is finite, and effort measurable.  A sales professional is evaluated based on success in meeting one’s goals, and when there are shortcomings, the extracurricular activities that are in clear view are then viewed in a different light.  They then become a focus.

The burden of sales is its measurability.  It is the day-to-day, week-to-week, and month-to-month measurability of professional sales that generates scrutiny.  Often there is no one individual who knows when you are working, or…well, dating.  In sales it comes with the territory; since there is no time clock, only results.

With all of this in mind, overt, or supposedly covert dating opens you to potential criticism.  If your numbers are not there, it is assumed that your relationship is getting in the way.  If your numbers are there, it is ‘obvious’ that the numbers could be better.

Couple the above issues with the fact you are Black and very much subject to the perceptions of others and you have an interesting problem.  If those who believe the perception that you are putting romance before sales efforts are managers, it surely will come back against you.

Yes, this is a touchy subject, yet true.   Being Black in a predominantly white organization leaves you open to be subjected to the perceptions of many, most importantly the sales managers and the general managers.  In an atmosphere where you need as level ground as possible, the last perception that you need is that you are acting as Romeo, or Juliet on company time.

Some Suggestions

I would suggest that you avoid relationships in the workplace.  Do I believe that most of you will listen to me?  Frankly, I don’t.  If you are going to date in the workplace, I throw out these few points:

• Know your company’s policy on office relationships – This can keep you from a fatal error.  Yes, many companies have a policy, and you might want to know it before it is used on you.
• Recognize the harassment exposure – Think it over real well.  If things do not go well, anything you say or do may come back to haunt you!  Most relationships are short term and it is the aftermath of a relationship that triggers harassment claims.
• Be extremely discreet – There should be no outward expressions at the workplace or on company time.  You should know that if you discuss it with anyone, it will be ‘publicized’ by text messages, tweets, email, and general office conversation, not to mention cell phone pictures.

• Social Media will work against you – Anything you post, or she posts on social media sites can be evidence of illicit or clandestine activities.
• Above all know your exit strategy – If it is not working out the way you need, how are you going to get out without a nuclear explosion.  It might be good to have that conversation and agreement at the beginning of any office relationship.

It should go without saying that no managers should be dating subordinates but I will throw it in here as well.  Nothing will shorten a career faster that this type of activity.  Don’t even think about it!

Of Particular Note – The Interracial Relationship

As much as things have changed in the last 50 years, of particular note is the interracial relationship in the workplace.  Something that happens almost commonly in the “real world” still brings extreme scrutiny in the workplace.  Thus there is a double jeopardy for the man or woman who has an interracial relationship in the workplace.  That double jeopardy is based on the fact that the Black sales professional could be damaged by an office relationship, no matter who the partner is.  Additional scrutiny comes to bear when the workplace relationship is interracial.

You are at work to make money and to build a career.  Both can be subject to the whims of others in the workplace.  All of you already know that when it comes to your career and your money, the possibility of a short-term relationship could be very expensive.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Your comments are welcome.

As a Black sales professional in a white business world, you have plenty of chances to interact at work and socially, with coworkers and management. In many cases this interaction can either help create, or destroy, the persona that you want to project.

The 3 Unmentionables

No matter what your level of comfort with certain topics, I suggest you avoid discussing these three topics, even when prompted:

• Politics
• Religion
• Race relations

Politics can go nuclear at any moment. There’s a good possibility that just as your race may be different, your politics will vary widely also. This was obviously a big issue during the campaign of the first Black president.  Do not be baited to discuss politics with your co-workers unless you are prepared to have that same conversation with management.  Word about diverse views spreads fast.  Your views are your own, and unless you have some other motive, they are best left that way. “Red state” versus “blue state” issues do not generate fodder for a conversation that you need to open a door to.

Religion is a ticking time bomb. It is as personal as any subject could be, and it is dangerous for a workplace discussion, even if you are of like color with those you work with.  I would avoid discussions of religion for all the right reasons, so you know how I feel about this when you are of a different race and religion. Besides, it is frankly none of their business.

Race relations are undoubtedly the 800 pound gorilla in the room. You see, no one believes his or her stance on race is an issue, until it butts up against another person’s stance. At that point the other person stance is perceived to be the issue.  I think you get my drift.   By the time the discussion starts the relationships can be damaged. At the root of this is the 3P’s (Preference, Perceptions, and Prejudice), his/hers and yours.

I’m sure that I don’t have to dive to deep into any of these illustrations; many of you have lived this for years. Recognize that it is easier to stay above some of these dangerous conversations than to think you can change someone’s perspectives. Additionally it is easier to avoid these conversations than to try to repair the aftermath. Everyone you work with is not your friend so you have no obligations here. Besides, you have important sales to make.

Discussions about religion without empathy, tolerance, and an open mind will drag someone down an abyss. Discussions about politics are polarizing.  One’s politics are one’s own business. Don’t put your business out there.

A Special Word on Discussions About Race Relations

Before I close on this topic, I do want to focus for a moment on the topic of race relations. This topic can be radioactive. There are friends that cannot have a gentle discussion on this topic.  With so much at stake, you cannot be assured that the discussion is sincere or an effort to pull you into the ‘rip-tide’ of controversy.  So with that in mind, leave that one for relatives and those people you have a close and sincere relationship with outside of work. Since it is impossible to ‘put toothpaste back in the tube’, this is an unmentionable.

We can strengthen the ill effects of the 3P’s with some of our actions. The impact of preference, perceptions, and prejudice can be made rockhard when our stances are the opposite of those people who can have an effect on our employment future.

I certainly look forward to your comments. Please take a moment and share them with us.