When Mentoring Goes Wrong! 5 Important Things to Know!

Mentoring

To help someone else learn their trade is one of the most important and gratifying tasks that you can undertake.  You might check this out to know some of the things that could go right and wrong.

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You may know my sentiments about mentoring from past posts in this journal (Do You Need a Mentor? You may Need Two, Black Sales Journal 1/27 and Being a Mentor, Can You Help Someone Else? Black Sales Journal 3/28).  I believe that if your are an accomplished sales professional you probably need to mentor some up-and-coming neophyte, and if you are new to sales, you probably need a mentor that can help you understand the sales world you are in, as well as understand the organizational politics and dynamics.  That could mean two separate mentors (one with sales knowledge and one with organizational expertise) or one who has a strong understanding of both.

Having been in both of those situations, I do recognize the fact that life can be easier when you have a mentor.  It would be hard for most sales professionals to dispute that mentoring did not help him or her.  Mentoring, is a role, and not a position, and whether it is formal or informal, it can go wrong.

Formalities?

Most sales mentoring relationships are informal.  They happen when a less experienced sales professional gets help from someone who has “been around the block.”  These relationships happen naturally, and because of that, there are very few “agreements” citing what the rules are.

As a matter of fact, it is because they are informal, and there are no basic rules, that animosity and resentment appear when things go wrong.  No one “evaluates” the effectiveness on a formal basis, and termination happens because the utility just might not be there.  Basically, the two parties move “apart” and seldom have the conversation that “this has been good, yet I need to work on my own now”, or “this is not giving me what I need, but I have appreciated your help.”

What Goes Wrong?

There could be a multitude of things that could go wrong, yet there are a few things that make really make a difference:

  • Common Elements - The more the mentor and the mentee have in common regarding work styles and ethics, the more compatibility there will be.  Working similar hours and with like intensity can help to develop mutual respect and even admiration, akin to “looking in a mirror”.  Note, when these elements are opposite or have a wide variance, they can be the ‘wedge’ that breaks up the partnership.  The more common the work elements, the more chance there are for a fruitful mentoring relationship.
  • Communication – The bond of a mentoring relationship is communication.  Communication styles differ vastly, so an understanding of communication styles and frequency are very important.  Mentors who are not effective communicators can be problematic, as the mentee may never understand fully the gist of the problem and solution, or the gravity of the issue.  The mentee must communicate openly and frequently regarding questions and issues that need clarification.  If neither of these happens, both sales professionals could be in a situation that they are wasting their time.
  • Trust and rapport – Since the majority of these relationships happen informally, the parties have usually chosen each other, or one of the parties has proposed the arrangement.  When this goes wrong, it is a short-lived mentoring relationship.   This means that they must trust each other and have a general affinity toward one another.  The trust issue is large in the arena of sales.  Since prospecting activities as well as sales territories are all in play, the mentor must be able to trust the mentee will respect what he or she is doing to help.  The pilfering of a prospect will change everything if it happens, and so it should, as that is a character issue.  Rapport is important as well because it forms linkages that may develop in to stronger bonds.
  • Agreement on goals and objectives – Most sales professionals have enough to do in the course of a day or week than to enter into an arrangement without some agreed upon goals and objectives.  Yogi Berra (yeah, I am quoting Yogi Berra) once said “You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.” Know where you are going and have agreement on what will give value to the mentoring relationship and set your sights to get there.  If it is learning how to prospect more effectively then the mentoring activities should be focused there.  If it is becoming accomplished in sales techniques, the focus should go there.  Have a plan in mind, and have the discussions that make it real.
  • Agreement on the “end game” – The mentoring arrangement, whether informal or formal will have to end at some point.  It is only right, and gives the mentee an opportunity to help someone who was in the same “boat” as he or she was.  Plan where this terminates as you go along.  Yes, this sounds formal, yet it is more realistic than one of the two parties to the mentoring relationship starting to avoid the other.

A Personal Example

As a fledgling sales representative, I searched out another Black sales professional to help me figure out how to get started.  I know that I did not call it mentoring at that time, and neither did he, yet he talked to me about prospecting.  More importantly, he talked to me about prospecting when you are Black in a business world that was not always kind.  In the State of Illinois with over sixty sales professionals of which three were Black (that included me), I needed someone who would help me learn the ropes.

His name was Walter, and he saved me a little time in a lot of my activities by taking that time with me.  I did not always agree with what he said; yet we had rapport and I appreciated him spending that time, as in a world where you don’t get points for spending it helping others, he helped.  Having someone pick up the phone when you had a question is worth its weight in gold.

Reach out to others as a veteran and offer to help someone who is in need. Give then a chance to succeed.  If you are a sales professional in need of help, reach out to the veteran’s whom you can learn from, and get some badly needed advice.  Always remember that color is not an issue in mentoring.  Helping someone who has promise is its own reward.  You also learn much about yourself and your own abilities when you help others.

As always, we appreciate you comments. You can reach me at Michael.Parker@BlackSalesJournal.com.

The First One That Talks Loses!

None of us want to admit that we have  been out-negotiated!  But it happens often.  We know that you need the sale, but this very important post will discuss an important tactic, and reduce the chances that you get the wrong end of the deal.  You are your company’s negotiator, and your reputation is at stake.  Be prepared!

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Your prospective customer calls you to meet in order to discuss your product and whether your organizations can do business.  She sounds excited and you sense that this might be the precursor to a good sale.

After you arrive, after some warm-up, you get to the gist of the negotiations.  She wants better payment terms and this is a big issue.  You have been instructed that your organization is ‘losing’ on payment terms, obviously not collecting soon enough, and you know your bounds.

The negotiations go like this:

Customer: “This could be a deal breaker.”

You: “We can offer four (6) equal monthly payments with a 25% deposit.”

Customer: “We would like twelve (8) equal monthly payments with a 10% deposit.” She continues, “If we don’t get that, we may have to consider remaining with our current vendor.”

You: “I think we can get some movement here.  I spoke to my people, and we can reduce our deposit to 15%, but our installments will remain at 6 equal.”

Customer: (Twists her face and does not respond)

You: “We are a good fit for you.  I will see if there is any way that we can move to the longer term.”  After a moment on the cell phone, you respond, “We have a deal! 15% deposit and 8 equal payments.”

You shake hands and head off into the sunset.  You should not be smiling, as you were thoroughly out-negotiated!

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One of the roles of a sales professional is that of negotiator.  It is not a role that you occupy all of the time, but one of tasks that must be done is to finalize, which includes pricing and terms.

Negotiating is a good thing as normally if there are negotiations, there is some acceptance of the product and the relationship.  The problem is most often when a customer goes silent, many in sales give up their bargaining range to get them to talk!  That is what happened in this situation.

Silence is Golden – For the Silent One!

We can learn something from this customer that is priceless:

Most sales professionals are uncomfortable with silence!

Those who are anxious to please, and needing a sale, often give up their negotiating room without ever getting a “no”.   They move to the customer’s position, or very close to it based on silence, or in this situation, silence and the customer’s expressions.

Now, as sales professionals like to talk, I stress that we need to pay respect to those who have learned that silence, by itself, crushes many sales negotiation strategies, and you don’t want it to happen to you.

The facial expression is an example of a ‘flinch’.  The flinch with, or without silence causes many sales professionals to begin to surrender their negotiation room.  A flinch can be a facial expression, upper body movement combined with a drastic facial expression, or even reaching for one’s chest or head ‘in amazement’.

Seemingly indicating that one is aghast (shocked and amazed) that the offer is so bad or lacking, has impact.  What it does is to move someone closer to giving up his or her margin.  Don’t be out negotiated.

I know what you are thinking, “It’s not my money!”  Well it is your money!  Closing the deal with the best terms is what you were hired for.  Be ethical and effective in doing it and there will always be a job for you.  Also, think of what happens when you, the sales professional, give up everything that you have to offer, then have to deal with the client next year.  They will be expecting your ‘cave-in’ again, and you may not have any room to ‘cave’.

Silence by Any Other Name…

It goes without saying in this electronic age that silence has many faces:

  • Not responding to a voice mail
  • Not responding to emails or written correspondence

Here is a real life example:

I once had a position that required that I purchase personal computers for a training operation.  We needed 12 computers and I negotiated for them and was not excited with the price.  It was not that the price was high; it was that the resources were short, so I went to “beg” my funding sources for more resources to get the products.

I indicated that we needed to consummate the deal by Friday, and because of an illness in the family I had not responded by the proceeding Thursday.  On Thursday afternoon, my assistant handed me a message from the rep cutting the price significantly.   About the same time, I received a call indicating that we had the additional funds to make the purchase.

The sales representative reduced the price without me ever saying ‘No’!  I wonder if his boss knew?

A Good Suggestion

I think the best suggestion that I could give you is to take a good negotiation course.  All sales professionals should take a good negotiation course that also focuses on the ethical nature of negotiating.  There are many out there, and they are worth their weight in gold.  No different than the customer, you should be prepared to use silence as one of the tools in your tool box as well.

Your non-work life will benefit as well as there are few tasks that have as much value making sure you get the right deal.

We will cover some more negotiation techniques here in this journal, yet a course is the way to go.  You will thank me for the suggestion, as there is nothing that will make you more effective and efficient after you have done the heavy lifting like cleanly and clearly negotiating the terms.

Be effective and efficient.

Your comments are appreciated. You can reach me at Michael.Parker@BlackSalesJournal.com.