Business sales requires that a sales professional builds and cultivates relationships.  That position plays the role of relationship manager. All other relationships pivot on the relationship that the sales professional generates.  For those who have sold for years, you know all of this.  Much of this post is for our younger sales professionals.

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As relationship manager, it is obvious that each relationship will be different, and will vary in depth.  That is the way relationships work in business and in personal life.  We all believe that we evaluate our relationships carefully, yet that evaluation comes with our own judgmental biases and perspectives.

The comfort of a relationship can lead us to speak and act in ways that are too casual.  I am speaking of the usage of slang and colloquial terms and phrases in your business relationships, as well as on the job in your own workplace.

Your Customer

If you are a Black sales professional, it is most likely that your customer and you coworkers come from a totally different background than you.  Life experiences build perceptions (Remember the 3Ps, Perceptions, Preference,  Prejudice and Your Customer – Black Sales Journal 12/27) which one carries until they are ready to give them up.  The danger of slang in a business relationship is that you do know when a word or phrase validates a perception that a buyer might have.

This does not mean that you cannot say all types of slang, yet slang that is culturally significant when you are still in the relationship building stage could be unacceptable.  I will admit to my guilt in using culturally biased slang with some customers.  Usually it was long, well developed relationships where I exercised that ‘privilege’.  The length of some of those relationships was decades, and I was well familiar with their views, and the customer with mine.  I was lucky, and still probably should have been a little more antiseptic.

Is This a Big Issue?

I don’t think this is a big issue, yet for some of our emerging talent, it should be heard.  Forming relationships is hard work. You need consistency and some personal protocol.

We all have a way of feeling comfort.  It can be a review of your relationship with a customer, or having the strength of a relationship confirmed by a new large order.  If you are wrong in your level of comfort you might seem crass, or you might spark something that chips away at a relationship.

Culturally biased slang includes language that in the Black community would not necessarily be offensive, yet we are not often selling to the Black community.  Even when we are, we want to have a solid idea of who our customer is, and what our boundaries are.  I suggest that it is easier to be in a business mode, and not take the risks unless you are certain of your customer and your relationship.

Your Work Environment

The work environment is a territory that you will know better than your customer.  Even in this territory, you should recognize the limitations that you should impose on yourself.  The workplace should always be considered “foreign” territory.  A familiar place for doing what you do to earn money, and make a career, yet a place that quite often has a set of rules that you have become comfortable with, even if your coworkers are barely comfortable with you.

None of this is bad at all.  Being at work is earning a living.  I had the fortune of working at a place that accepted my cultural differences and allowed me to grow.  All places don’t offer that haven, so your judgment is important here.

I was not the first Black sales professional that worked there, yet I was their first Black sales manager.  By the time I worked in that role, there were things that I said that I wish I could have taken back.  I learned on the job, and learned the hard way.  We all will not work for a solid and forgiving organization like I ;did.

If you follow the same rules that you should use with customers at your job, you will never lose.  It will be easy to remember, and you will not turn anyone off.  Remember, taking back things you have uttered is like trying to “put toothpaste back in the tube.”

A Simple Example

Many years ago I was on a sales call with a sales professional who the customer told some difficult news, to which he uttered “That Sucks!” Think about that comment, and apply it to business relationships 12 years ago when it was even more sensitized.  The response from the customer was a face that I interpreted as being taken aback.

Now, quite frankly, there were many words that could have been used there, yet the one that came to mind did not sit well with the buyer, who was an older female.  When we left the call and were in the parking lot, I coached that this was not an appropriate comment.  I believe it was for laughs to a degree as there were several people in the room, yet that only means that there could have been several people offended (I don’t believe there were, yet our buyer appeared to be).

I believe that the sales rep took it to heart and appeared very professional in other calls.  I also believe that he apologized to the buyer who quickly stated that it “was fine.”  Fact is that it should not have been done.

How About Profanity?

I once had a manager who could use profanity, and no one ever seemed bothered by it.  Now, I don’t know if they were, as I was not polling, yet there were never any repercussions.  He was well accepted, and had a way about how he did it that desensitized situations.  I never felt I would have been that blessed.

The fact is that Black professionals should be careful about using profanity for more reasons than I could list in this journal.  It is easier to keep it clean, and be expressive and emphatic.  I believe there is no place for it in our day-to-day public image with the customer or employer.

Remember to always be the consummate professional.

We welcome your comments

In the August 22nd post (Black Sales Journal  8/22, Improper Racial Comments from Your Co-Workers) we discussed how you might want to consider reacting when co-workers make improper or inappropriate comments.  Co-workers are obviously peers, and your reactions may not have to be measured.  The principals that apply when the individual who makes the comment is your manager or a senior executive may require more calculation and measurement.

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Insensitivity and racism exists, and it is not institutional as it is an individual’s personal problem in most cases.  This insensitivity coupled with a lack of respect for racial differences can be vexing.  When it is not handled correctly, it manifests itself as organizations being called racist, when it is actually a particular (or more than one) manager who is the problem.

No one can predict the source or the timing of these types of comments, we just know that as long as you are interacting, there is a possibility that an improper remark will happen.

These are Not Mistakes!

Everyone comes from a different station in life, and their ability to relate to others is hindered by a lack of understanding others and their sensitivity.  Sometimes, it comes across as being insensitive, sometimes rude, and in other instances, it can rank as downright boorish. The fact of the matter is that many, but not all of these statements represent unadulterated displays of racial prejudice.  Be smart enough to know the difference, as they deserve different courses of action.  Be smart, not oversensitive.

I honestly encountered this during my early years of employment, and quickly learned, as will you, who the source of these types of comments would be.  These types of comment are not mistakes.  They are utterances of ones viewpoints, and in many cases a window into one’s upbringing.  I explain this in Black Sales Journal 12/30/2010, Preference, Perceptions, and Prejudice and Your Employer.

I had an opportunity to cover an issue like this in Black Sales Journal 6/27, Changing Racial Perceptions.   This is one you should check out.   I write about it under the sub-heading “Perceptions – An Example from My Past”.   Frankly, as a young sales professional I did not know what to do.  I was left speechless, and that was the last time.

I don’t care if it is 2011, these comments do still happen.  No one cares about hearing an apology from someone for making the statement when the problem is that someone actually feels this way, and they are your superiors at your place of employement.

Measured Reactions When it comes from “the Top”

When a manager or a senior executive makes a comment that is offensive the other managers and employees who are listening immediately sense the impact of the statement.  Many get uncomfortable, and some want to exit.  Remember this in the examples of actions that I suggest, it is the moment of truth, but the group is your ally.  Groups (the audience to your comment) have a way of being very uncomfortable when someone is singled out, and unjustly aggrieved.

When the comment is made, the audience and you are affected:

• Something wrong has been said
• Someone has been wronged or hurt (You)
• There are witnesses to this wrong, and they are victims as well

It is at this point that your actions are most visible, and most observed.  You cannot avoid the spotlight, and your face will quickly show something is a problem.

Here is what you need to remember:

• Don’t be afraid to show that you are disturbed if you are. You do not have to be stoic.
• Show your maturity by not reacting improperly as you are a professional.
• Exiting the conversation speaks volumes, even more than the suggestion of exiting the conversation when it is a peer. Leaving shows your feelings about the comment, and the commenter.
• Match the gravity of the comment to any verbal response you might have, yet I will guarantee you that if the comment has any gravity at all, an “excuse me” will result in a future discussion, or even an apology in the very near future.

Realistically, any apology may be more for having said the comment rather than feeling those things that compelled them to make it.  An apology or admission that the comment was inappropriate will show that this comment should not have been uttered.

These Remarks Are About Power

When you hear a remark that is improper and inappropriate from a manager it is usually results in feeling vulnerable, at least at that moment.  Factually, you should not accept it even if alcohol is involved.  I mention alcohol, as that is a common excuse. The ”he had too much to drink” bit is not kosher, and any manager’s drinking issue is not your problem.

Trust me, no manager wants to have a discussion with his/her manager or human resources about remarks they make involving race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation to a employee.  What is even more problematic is if they have to have that conversation because there was more than one incident.  Most employers, especially large ones have no tolerance for that discussion, especially after the first time.

The Role of Human Resources

I have had the pleasure of working with some very good HR professionals.  As a manager I recognize their focus on the well being of the employee and their willingness to take a manager to task when it is truly necessary.

If you feel aggrieved by a comment, you definitely should approach HR and frankly tell the story.  This is definitely a situation where “the truth will set you free”.  Advise what was said including the audience, and how that made you feel.  Be factual and not emotional.

There are a couple of things that can happen when you talk to HR:

• The manager might be told to have a conversation with you, perhaps including an apology
• The manager can receive a memo of either admonishment or reprimand.
• There is a possibility of the manager being placed in ‘sensitivity or diversity training’.
• If this is a repeat incident, there could be more harsh punishment meted out including termination.

Intelligently realize that you should only involve HR if you really feel aggrieved and they will help you sort it out, as this is not a trivial matter.  Don’t be thin skinned or you will lose credibility.

It goes without saying that you need to avoid jokes about any of those forbidden topics, and stay “clean” yourself.  Recognize that peers and managers should show you respect, and you should do the same.

Your comments are appreciated.  Write me at Michael.Parker@blacksalesjournal.com.