Empathy – the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also : the capacity for this.

Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

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Selling and the sales process in general can be consuming.  Remembering the sales techniques, the product specifications, the time lines, and…oh yes, the customer.

The customer, regardless of the quips and quotes of many sales books and sayings, should not be forgotten, yet frequently is either forgotten or not made the focal point.

The best sales professionals realize that the customer’s plight will spell their success.  Having an insight into the concerns and feelings of the customer may take a little more energy, yet can result in the type of relationships that are enduring and profitable.

Logical Order

You meet a new customer for the first time, and this is your great opportunity to land a profile account and you have been waiting for it for a long time.  After the perfunctory introductions you begin to describe your company’s history, philosophy, and superb reputation.  He shows signs of agreement and understanding, and even compliments your fine organization.

You launch into the products that made your organization what it is, and even note which of your fine products you think would fit the customer’s needs based on the best selling product in your companies cadre of products.  He is engaged in the process, and showing interest.

Before we go any further with this, take note, you may be showing your knowledge of your company’s products and your presentations skills, yet you have missed the opportunity to understand what the customer needs.  You will likely blow the sale, or even worse, sell the customer something that they don’t need.  If you miss the opportunity to know the customer’s needs you will be hard pressed to provide solutions and satisfy needs.

Stephen R. Covey said it best in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” (Habit 5).  It has been said many other ways, but this one is the easiest to internalize.  The more knowledge you have about the customer, the more qualified you are to help that customer.  Knowing gives you the basis for empathy.

At the basis of this is good communications and the one of the least mastered skills…listening. (Black Sales Journal 4/14 – Are You Listening To Your Customer?)

How Would You Feel?

The easiest way to think about how your interaction affects the customer is to put yourself “in the shoes” of your customer.  As a customer, you want to have solid communications and a sales professional servicing your business that understands your business, and your businesses situation.

Customers want someone who has taken the time to carefully probe their needs, including their strengths and weaknesses so that they can offer solutions.  They want you to know relevant aspects of their business plan as well.  When you probe with the question, “What is your company going to look like in 8 years?” The customer might respond “Our growth will result in a tripling in size most likely because of our movement to automatic widgets as opposed to manual ones, as that is the most profitable line that we have.”

If appropriate, ask relevant questions regarding business goals and objectives.  It takes time, but that it what a true professional does.

This professional does the following:

• Seeks to understand your customer’s needs and priorities, and is genuinely empathetic because they do understand.
• Knows the customers goals and objectives and works to get fulfillment
• Clearly communicates with the customer, then follows with correspondence for monitoring and clarity.
• Avoids using technical language and jargon that your customer may not understand.
• Allows the sales process to proceed naturally, and does not exert unnecessary pressure.

Empathy allows you to recognize the importance and gravity of many of the issues in the customer’s world, and how they are affected.  It increases the urgency on some matters and decreases it on others, and that allows you to know, as the client knows, what is most important.

Don’t Fake It

Care must be taken not to be artificial in showing empathy, as if your buyer thinks that you are feigning empathy, it will almost seem patronizing.  It will simply look as if it is being done to ‘get the account’.  This is not a good place to be as no one wants to be manipulated in that fashion.  This is very evident in B2P sales, where some of the sales happen over the kitchen table.

If you cannot be genuine, then you may want to avoid the appearance of empathy, as it will be noticeable.  We have all had a sales professional (used loosely) who tried to act understanding, yet was not that good of an actor.  It is insulting to say the least.

If you have the passion that should be evident as a professional attempting to help your customers find solutions, none of this will be an issue.  You will feel the empathy more when you have uncovered the customer’s needs and special situations through your interviews and probing.

Your customer’s need you to understand, and will award you appropriately.

Your comments are appreciated.

Slang and Profanity

Business relationships are special.  They are constantly fragile, but durable enough to ward off competition.  No matter what happens in your business relationship, and no matter how close they feel, don’t forget that you are always safer keeping your language on the formal side.  Yes…I am saying that you never know what might offend someone.  Sales professionals are notorious for dropping an ‘F-Bomb’ in the heat of a conversation.  Is it worth it?

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Business sales requires that a sales professional builds and cultivates relationships.  That position plays the role of relationship manager. All other relationships pivot on the relationship that the sales professional generates.  For those who have sold for years, you know all of this.  Much of this post is for our younger sales professionals.

As relationship manager, it is obvious that each relationship will be different, and will vary in depth.  That is the way relationships work in business and in personal life.  We all believe that we evaluate our relationships carefully, yet that evaluation comes with our own judgmental biases and perspectives.

The comfort of a relationship can lead us to speak and act in ways that are too casual.  I am speaking of the usage of slang and colloquial terms and phrases in your business relationships, as well as on the job in your own workplace.

Your Customer

If you are a Black sales professional, it is most likely that your customer and you coworkers come from a totally different background than you.  Life experiences buildperceptions (Remember the 3Ps, Perceptions, Preference,  Prejudice and Your Customer – Black Sales Journal 12/27) which one carries until they are ready to give them up.  The danger of slang in a business relationship is that you do know when a word or phrase validates a perception that a buyer might have.

This does not mean that you cannot say all slang, yet slang that is culturally significant when you are still in the relationship building stage could be unacceptable.  I will admit to my guilt in using culturally biased slang with some customers.  Usually it was long, well developed relationships where I exercised that ‘privilege’.  The length of some of those relationships was decades, and I was well familiar with their views, and the customer with mine.  I was lucky, and still probably should have been a little more antiseptic.

Is This a Big Issue?

I don’t think this is a big issue, yet for some of our emerging talent, it should be heard.  Forming relationships is hard work.  You need consistency and some personal protocol.  This is one of those things that must be remembered.

We all have a way of feeling comfort.  It can be a review of your relationship with a customer, or having the strength of a relationship confirmed by a new large order.  If you are wrong in your level of comfort you might seem crass, or you might spark something that chips away at a relationship.

Culturally biased slang includes language that in the Black community would not necessarily be offensive, yet we are not often selling to the Black community.  Even when we are, we want to have a solid idea of who our customer is, and what our boundaries are.  I suggest that it is easier to be in a business mode, and not take the risks unless you are certain of your customer and your relationship.

Your Work Environment

The work environment is a territory that you will know better than your customer.  Even in this territory, you should recognize the limitations that you should impose on yourself.  The workplace should always be considered “foreign” territory.  A familiar place for doing what you do to earn money, and make a career, yet a place that quite often has a set of rules that you have become comfortable with, even if your coworkers are barely comfortable with you.

None of this is bad at all.  Being at work is earning a living.  I had the fortune of working at a place that accepted my cultural differences and allowed me to grow.  All places don’t offer that haven, so your judgment is important here.

I was not the first Black sales professional that worked there, yet I was their first Black sales manager.  By the time I worked in that role, there were things that I said that I wish I could have taken back.  I learned on the job, and learned the hard way.  We all will not work for a solid and forgiving organization.

If you follow the same rules that you should use with customers at your job, you will never lose.  It will be easy to remember, and you will not turn anyone off.  Remember, taking back things you have uttered is like trying to “put toothpaste back in the tube.”

A Simple Example

Many years ago I was on a sales call with a sales professional who the customer told some difficult news, to which he uttered “That Sucks!” Think about that comment, and apply it to business relationships 12 years ago when it was even more sensitized.  The response from the customer was a face that I interpreted as being taken aback.

Now, quite frankly, there were many words that could have been used there, yet the one that came to mind did not sit well with the buyer, who was an older female.  When we left the call and were in the parking lot, I coached that this was not an appropriate comment.  I believe it was for laughs to a degree as there were several people in the room, yet that only means that there could have been several people offended (I don’t believe there were, yet our buyer appeared to be).

I believe that the sales rep took it to heart and appeared very professional in other calls.  I also believe that he apologized to the buyer who quickly stated that it “was fine.”  Fact is that it should not have been done.

How About Profanity?

I once had a manager who could use profanity, and no one ever seemed bothered by it.  Now, I don’t know if they were, as I was not polling, yet there were never any repercussions.  He was well accepted, and had a way about how he did it that desensitized.  I never felt I would have been that blessed.

The fact is that Black professionals should be careful about using profanity for more reasons than I could list in this journal.  It is easier to keep it clean, and be expressive and emphatic.  I believe there is no place for it in our day-to-day public image with the customer or employer.

Remember to always be the consummate professional.

We welcome your comments