Entertaining your clients can be both fun and productive.  It can be used as a tool to strengthen relationships, and at the very least increase your familiarity with the customer’s key people.  Used incorrectly, it can reveal things, right or wrong, about you and or your company in regard to your class, morals, and standing that will be indelibly etched in your customer’s and co-employee’s memory.

Be Smart and Practical

In the universe of entertainment options your choices should be safe and time proven.  Fine dining, spectator-sporting events, golf and other sporting events are time proven.  Relaxing activities such as spas, manicure/pedicures, makeovers, and other activities are making a strong showing as well.

There is, of course, some areas best left out.  Engaging the customer at gentlemen’s clubs, also known as ‘strip clubs’, is totally off limits!  It lacks class, and is far from harmless.  There is no activity, which is in poorer taste than this, whether you are supporting (paying for) the activity or you have the gall to have your company pay for it.  For the most part it is in violation of most expense policies (see Black Sales Journal 4/4/11 Business Entertainment – Some Do’s and Don’ts).

Stand for Something!

Black sales professionals beware: Company expense policies should be observed, and the letter of the law in an expense policy is important, but more important is understanding the intent.  The intent should be followed without fail.  In establishing and retaining credibility sales professionals don’t need to run afoul of what is, or what should be, socially acceptable.

Gone are the days when sales professionals and executives can entertain at gentlemen’s clubs without scrutiny.  Everyone should be held accountable for relationship building that is socially acceptable and open to both genders, all ethnic groups, and all sexual orientations.

Even if your customer asks to participate in one of these activities, you should show an unwavering stance and say that it is not something that you want to do.  I think that you should have the confidence to say, “No, but I have something else that we can do that will be great.”  That effort to redirect will probably be accepted, but even if rejected, I think you will have shown your character.

Stand up for yourself in this.  A mentor of mine told me once, “If you don’t stand for something, you don’t stand for s—!”  Think about it.  What do you stand for?

The Real Costs!

When men get together and consider the gentlemen’s club option, just think how offensive and exclusionary that is, or can be, to female customers, or co-employees.  It is discriminatory, and totally unfair!  You lose your integrity, your credibility, and respect.  Hmmm!  I am not sure you have much left that is considered universally of value.

The same is true for female sales professionals.  Taking clients to an ‘all men’ review is equally poor in taste.  Protect your image as well.

I am not sure which would be worse, to leave your female counterparts or customers behind, or to be as ridiculous as to ask them to attend.  Show your character and avoid mindless activities.  Keep everyone engaged an involved.  Treasure everyone’s feelings in the process.

A Personal Example

I was once a regional sales manager in the Michigan/Ohio market.  This market is dominated by the auto industry, but also focused in southeastern Michigan, basically Detroit.  I enjoyed the 6 year stint there, but was continually asked to go either to 8 Mile, an area replete with gentleman’s clubs, or to Windsor, Canada, another area brimming with strip clubs and other attractions.

An executive vice-president of my organization visited our office with one of his direct reports, a senior vice president, in tow.  After the requisite meeting they ask me to take them to Windsor.  I will be honest, I felt some pressure as this was two steps up from my manager, an important company officer, and very influential.

I said to them, “I will not be going there, but you can use my vehicle to go if you are sure that is what you want to do.” It was met with the quick reply, “Come on, we are going to talk business with you!  You need to be there for us to talk about this stuff.”  The Senior VP then said, “Don’t give me this s— that you don’t go to strip clubs….”  I retorted, “You don’t want to hear it, but I don’t go to strip clubs.”

They smirked, but found someone else to take them.  I always wondered whether it would affect my career, but it did not do any long-term damage, although it was known in the short term that I was not one of the ‘boys”.  Remember, you have to stand for something!

Stand Tall

Find comfort in standing tall in situations like this. Don’t do anything because the ‘crowd’ thinks you should.  Whether you are male or female, Black or white, gay or straight, be you and eventually you will be appreciated for your stance.  If you partake of these activities currently, you should consider your image and take this opportunity to change.  See the light!

Your comments are welcome.

Business relationships are special.  They are constantly fragile, but durable enough to ward off competition.  No matter what happens in your business relationship, and no matter how close they feel, don’t forget that you are always safer keeping your language on the formal side.  Yes…I am saying that you never know what might offend someone.  Sales professionals are notorious for dropping an ‘F-Bomb’ in the heat of a conversation.  Is it worth it?

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Business sales requires that a sales professional builds and cultivates relationships.  That position plays the role of relationship manager. All other relationships pivot on the relationship that the sales professional generates.  For those who have sold for years, you know all of this.  Much of this post is for our younger sales professionals.

As relationship manager, it is obvious that each relationship will be different, and will vary in depth.  That is the way relationships work in business and in personal life.  We all believe that we evaluate our relationships carefully, yet that evaluation comes with our own judgmental biases and perspectives.

The comfort of a relationship can lead us to speak and act in ways that are too casual.  I am speaking of the usage of slang and colloquial terms and phrases in your business relationships, as well as on the job in your own workplace.

Your Customer

If you are a Black sales professional, it is most likely that your customer and you coworkers come from a totally different background than you.  Life experiences build perceptions (Remember the 3Ps, Perceptions, Preference,  Prejudice and Your Customer – Black Sales Journal 12/27) which one carries until they are ready to give them up.  The danger of slang in a business relationship is that you do know when a word or phrase validates a perception that a buyer might have.

This does not mean that you cannot say all slang, yet slang that is culturally significant when you are still in the relationship building stage could be unacceptable.  I will admit to my guilt in using culturally biased slang with some customers.  Usually it was long, well developed relationships where I exercised that ‘privilege’.  The length of some of those relationships was decades, and I was well familiar with their views, and the customer with mine.  I was lucky, and still probably should have been a little more antiseptic.

Is This a Big Issue?

I don’t think this is a big issue, yet for some of our emerging talent, it should be heard.  Forming relationships is hard work.  You need consistency and some personal protocol.  This is one of those things that must be remembered.

We all have a way of feeling comfort.  It can be a review of your relationship with a customer, or having the strength of a relationship confirmed by a new large order.  If you are wrong in your level of comfort you might seem crass, or you might spark something that chips away at a relationship.

Culturally biased slang includes language that in the Black community would not necessarily be offensive, yet we are not often selling to the Black community.  Even when we are, we want to have a solid idea of who our customer is, and what our boundaries are.  I suggest that it is easier to be in a business mode, and not take the risks unless you are certain of your customer and your relationship.

Your Work Environment

The work environment is a territory that you will know better than your customer.  Even in this territory, you should recognize the limitations that you should impose on yourself.  The workplace should always be considered “foreign” territory.  A familiar place for doing what you do to earn money, and make a career, yet a place that quite often has a set of rules that you have become comfortable with, even if your coworkers are barely comfortable with you.

None of this is bad at all.  Being at work is earning a living.  I had the fortune of working at a place that accepted my cultural differences and allowed me to grow.  All places don’t offer that haven, so your judgment is important here.

I was not the first Black sales professional that worked there, yet I was their first Black sales manager.  By the time I worked in that role, there were things that I said that I wish I could have taken back.  I learned on the job, and learned the hard way.  We all will not work for a solid and forgiving organization.

If you follow the same rules that you should use with customers at your job, you will never lose.  It will be easy to remember, and you will not turn anyone off.  Remember, taking back things you have uttered is like trying to “put toothpaste back in the tube.”

A Simple Example

Many years ago I was on a sales call with a sales professional who the customer told some difficult news, to which he uttered “That Sucks!” Think about that comment, and apply it to business relationships 12 years ago when it was even more sensitized.  The response from the customer was a face that I interpreted as being taken aback.

Now, quite frankly, there were many words that could have been used there, yet the one that came to mind did not sit well with the buyer, who was an older female.  When we left the call and were in the parking lot, I coached that this was not an appropriate comment.  I believe it was for laughs to a degree as there were several people in the room, yet that only means that there could have been several people offended (I don’t believe there were, yet our buyer appeared to be).

I believe that the sales rep took it to heart and appeared very professional in other calls.  I also believe that he apologized to the buyer who quickly stated that it “was fine.”  Fact is that it should not have been done.

How About Profanity?

I once had a manager who could use profanity, and no one ever seemed bothered by it.  Now, I don’t know if they were, as I was not polling, yet there were never any repercussions.  He was well accepted, and had a way about how he did it that desensitized.  I never felt I would have been that blessed.

The fact is that Black professionals should be careful about using profanity for more reasons than I could list in this journal.  It is easier to keep it clean, and be expressive and emphatic.  I believe there is no place for it in our day-to-day public image with the customer or employer.

Remember to always be the consummate professional.

We welcome your comments