Black Sales Journal

Empathy - the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also : the capacity for this.

Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

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Selling and the sales process in general can be consuming.  Remembering the sales techniques, the product specifications, the time lines, and…oh yes, the customer.

The customer, regardless of the quips and quotes of many sales books and sayings, should not be forgotten, yet frequently is either forgotten or not made the focal point.

The best sales professionals realize that the customer’s plight will spell their success.  Having an insight into the concerns and feelings of the customer may take a little more energy, yet can result in the type of relationships that are enduring and profitable.

Logical Order

You meet a new customer for the first time, and this is your great opportunity to land a profile account and you have been waiting for it for a long time.  After the perfunctory introductions you begin to describe your company’s history, philosophy, and superb reputation.  He shows signs of agreement and understanding, and even compliments your fine organization.

You launch into the products that made your organization what it is, and even note which of your fine products you think would fit the customer’s needs based on the best selling product in your companies cadre of products.  He is engaged in the process, and showing interest.

Before we go any further with this, take note, you may be showing your knowledge of your company’s products and your presentations skills, yet you have missed the opportunity to understand what the customer needs.  You will likely blow the sale, or even worse, sell the customer something that they don’t need.  If you miss the opportunity to know the customer’s needs you will be hard pressed to provide solutions and satisfy needs.

Stephen R. Covey said it best in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” (Habit 5).  It has been said many other ways, but this one is the easiest to internalize.  The more knowledge you have about the customer, the more qualified you are to help that customer.  Knowing gives you the basis for empathy.

At the basis of this is good communications and the one of the least mastered skills…listening. (Black Sales Journal 4/14 – Are You Listening To Your Customer?)

How Would You Feel?

The easiest way to think about how your interaction affects the customer is to put yourself “in the shoes” of your customer.  As a customer, you want to have solid communications and a sales professional servicing your business that understands your business, and your businesses situation.

Customers want someone who has taken the time to carefully probe their needs, including their strengths and weaknesses so that they can offer solutions.  They want you to know relevant aspects of their business plan as well.  When you probe with the question, “What is your company going to look like in 8 years?” The customer might respond “Our growth will result in a tripling in size most likely because of our movement to automatic widgets as opposed to manual ones, as that is the most profitable line that we have.”

If appropriate, ask relevant questions regarding business goals and objectives.  It takes time, but that it what a true professional does.

This professional does the following:

• Seeks to understand your customer’s needs and priorities, and is genuinely empathetic because they do understand.
• Knows the customers goals and objectives and works to get fulfillment
• Clearly communicates with the customer, then follows with correspondence for monitoring and clarity.
• Avoids using technical language and jargon that your customer may not understand.
• Allows the sales process to proceed naturally, and does not exert unnecessary pressure.

Empathy allows you to recognize the importance and gravity of many of the issues in the customer’s world, and how they are affected.  It increases the urgency on some matters and decreases it on others, and that allows you to know, as the client knows, what is most important.

Don’t Fake It

Care must be taken not to be artificial in showing empathy, as if your buyer thinks that you are feigning empathy, it will almost seem patronizing.  It will simply look as if it is being done to ‘get the account’.  This is not a good place to be as no one wants to be manipulated in that fashion.  This is very evident in B2P sales, where some of the sales happen over the kitchen table.

If you cannot be genuine, then you may want to avoid the appearance of empathy, as it will be noticeable.  We have all had a sales professional (used loosely) who tried to act understanding, yet was not that good of an actor.  It is insulting to say the least.

If you have the passion that should be evident as a professional attempting to help your customers find solutions, none of this will be an issue.  You will feel the empathy more when you have uncovered the customer’s needs and special situations through your interviews and probing.

Your customer’s need you to understand, and will award you appropriately.

Your comments are appreciated.

Entertaining your clients can be both fun and productive.  It can be used as a tool to strengthen relationships, and at the very least increase your familiarity with the customer’s key people.  Used incorrectly, it can reveal things, right or wrong, about you and or your company in regard to your class, morals, and standing that will be indelibly etched in your customer’s and co-employee’s memory.

Be Smart and Practical

In the universe of entertainment options your choices should be safe and time proven.  Fine dining, spectator-sporting events, golf and other sporting events are time proven.  Relaxing activities such as spas, manicure/pedicures, makeovers, and other activities are making a strong showing as well.

There is, of course, some areas best left out.  Engaging the customer at gentlemen’s clubs, also known as ‘strip clubs’, is totally off limits!  It lacks class, and is far from harmless.  There is no activity, which is in poorer taste than this, whether you are supporting (paying for) the activity or you have the gall to have your company pay for it.  For the most part it is in violation of most expense policies (see Black Sales Journal 4/4/11 Business Entertainment – Some Do’s and Don’ts).

Stand for Something!

Black sales professionals beware: Company expense policies should be observed, and the letter of the law in an expense policy is important, but more important is understanding the intent.  The intent should be followed without fail.  In establishing and retaining credibility sales professionals don’t need to run afoul of what is, or what should be, socially acceptable.

Gone are the days when sales professionals and executives can entertain at gentlemen’s clubs without scrutiny.  Everyone should be held accountable for relationship building that is socially acceptable and open to both genders, all ethnic groups, and all sexual orientations.

Even if your customer asks to participate in one of these activities, you should show an unwavering stance and say that it is not something that you want to do.  I think that you should have the confidence to say, “No, but I have something else that we can do that will be great.”  That effort to redirect will probably be accepted, but even if rejected, I think you will have shown your character.

Stand up for yourself in this.  A mentor of mine told me once, “If you don’t stand for something, you don’t stand for s—!”  Think about it.  What do you stand for?

The Real Costs!

When men get together and consider the gentlemen’s club option, just think how offensive and exclusionary that is, or can be, to female customers, or co-employees.  It is discriminatory, and totally unfair!  You lose your integrity, your credibility, and respect.  Hmmm!  I am not sure you have much left that is considered universally of value.

The same is true for female sales professionals.  Taking clients to an ‘all men’ review is equally poor in taste.  Protect your image as well.

I am not sure which would be worse, to leave your female counterparts or customers behind, or to be as ridiculous as to ask them to attend.  Show your character and avoid mindless activities.  Keep everyone engaged an involved.  Treasure everyone’s feelings in the process.

A Personal Example

I was once a regional sales manager in the Michigan/Ohio market.  This market is dominated by the auto industry, but also focused in southeastern Michigan, basically Detroit.  I enjoyed the 6 year stint there, but was continually asked to go either to 8 Mile, an area replete with gentleman’s clubs, or to Windsor, Canada, another area brimming with strip clubs and other attractions.

An executive vice-president of my organization visited our office with one of his direct reports, a senior vice president, in tow.  After the requisite meeting they ask me to take them to Windsor.  I will be honest, I felt some pressure as this was two steps up from my manager, an important company officer, and very influential.

I said to them, “I will not be going there, but you can use my vehicle to go if you are sure that is what you want to do.” It was met with the quick reply, “Come on, we are going to talk business with you!  You need to be there for us to talk about this stuff.”  The Senior VP then said, “Don’t give me this s— that you don’t go to strip clubs….”  I retorted, “You don’t want to hear it, but I don’t go to strip clubs.”

They smirked, but found someone else to take them.  I always wondered whether it would affect my career, but it did not do any long-term damage, although it was known in the short term that I was not one of the ‘boys”.  Remember, you have to stand for something!

Stand Tall

Find comfort in standing tall in situations like this. Don’t do anything because the ‘crowd’ thinks you should.  Whether you are male or female, Black or white, gay or straight, be you and eventually you will be appreciated for your stance.  If you partake of these activities currently, you should consider your image and take this opportunity to change.  See the light!

Your comments are welcome.