Can You Deal With A Customer’s Racially Insensitive Comments?

Invariably it will happen no matter what minority group you represent.  With all of the good customers in the world, we forget that there are some who just have no filter on what they should say.  They just don’t get it!  Know how to deal with these situations.  Always be prepared!

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Customers come from all walks of life, and certainly have their goods and bads, but we cannot live without them in the sales world.  They are human, and with that in mind, are capable of saying things that are subject to translation, and sometimes downright wrong and insulting.

This post covers how you might react to those comments, or better yet, how you might better react to those comments.  Remember, just as we stated in Black Sales Journal August 22,2011, Reacting to Improper Racial Comments from Co-workers and Black Sales Journal 8/29/2011, Reacting to Improper Racial Comments from Managers, which covered how you might react to statements from co-workers and from your manager, you have the right to react, I am just suggesting to you do so in a professional manner.

Just because someone is doing business with you does not mean that they can say things that are demeaning or even cruel without a formidable response.

Intent Does Count

Before we get deep into this, I would like to point out that intent does count.  I would like to explain that there are intentionally harmful racial comments that are made with malice, and racial comments that are made in ignorance.  Although neither of these should be considered acceptable, and they both probably warrant a reply, the requisite responses might need to differ.

Statements that are made because one is ignorant and unenlightened obviously have the same effect, yet have less gravity than a statement meant to harm by some one who is rude and insensitive.  Here are a couple of examples:

Statement A: During a business meeting your customer talked about safety in the area that his business is located. He says with a smile… “They say that one of your brothers pulled off the robbery of that fast food joint down the street last night.”

Statement B: During a dinner entertainment session, your buyer indicates she needs to terminate a Hispanic employee “who is still wet from the swim across because of the new immigration laws.”

Both statements are offensive, and both deserve a response.  Which statement is, in your view, is the most racially charged?  How would you react to each of these?

Always be calculated in your response and consider the intent.  I will discuss how I would respond in a moment.  First I want to acquaint you with a personal situation and how I handled it.

A Personal Example

When I was in sales, many of my customers were owners of trucking companies.  This industry, like many others has people that say what is on their mind, and sometimes what is on their mind can be disparaging.  In the instance that I am about to cite, I definitely responded incorrectly the first time, by not responding.  When the second time came around, I think I definitely handled it in the correct manner.

I was on a call basically to deliver policies to the account and we got involved in a conversation about a driver who had generated a lower back workers compensation claim.  Everyone knows that lower back claims can be subjective, and tend to linger for long periods.

During the call my customer indicated that we should investigate the claim of Ben T.  He stated that he had reason to believe that Ben was malingering, and it was our job to get to the root of it and make sure that the claim was compensable, and that payments should be stopped until we knew for sure.  He then said, “You have a good work ethic, and I wish all of your people had that same work ethic.”

I was a 26 year old sales professional and initially, my response was to say nothing other than that I would check it out.  I thought I needed the client, and needed my money.  I realized within minutes that my response was wrong.  It kept me up at night for a little bit, and relived it several times.

When I returned to the customer location the following week, I explained to him the situation behind the back claim.  This individual was going to undergo surgery and his claim was legitimate to our people.  I then sat with him, looked him in the eye and said, “Respectfully Bob, I take offense to your comments last week about Ben T. and work ethic.”  He developed a puzzled look and quickly said, “I did not mean to offend you Michael.”  I then advised the following, “I know you did not mean to offend me, as we speak openly, yet you offended a whole community of people, of which I am one.  It would have been the same as if I said that you are special, but most of your people are drunkards (Bob was Irish).”

A light bulb went on in Bob’s head.  I could see it happen… enlightenment, that is.  Bob said, “Point taken, but we Irish like to drink!”  I quickly responded, “You do get my point, don’t you?”  We smiled and completed the meeting.

Back to Our Questions

Well, both situations are enough to of these statements are bothersome, and unfortunately situations like this happen in the workplace frequently.

Regarding Statement A:  This is the least charged, as this person is attempting to refer to a felon as a ‘brother’ presumably because we often call Black people ‘brothers’ and ‘sisters’.  It should not have been said but you would not have to use a nuclear bomb on this one.  Your response should be simple and professional, “Respectfully, no one who would do that is a brother of mine.”  Remember, this is a customer.

Regarding Statement B: This is a racially charged statement.  You might hesitate to respond to it, yet the races are interchangeable in this case.  If you do not respond, I suppose you would be waiting until this customer got around to taking a ‘shot’ at African Americans  next.  An improper remark against any group or religion is an attack on your diversity.  Your response should be professional and impactful.  Something like, “Kristin, honestly I take offense to that statement.”  She knows it was wrong and if she is worth her salt she will not make another one like it.

Respect your principals.  I am not saying that you should not work with a customer as much as you need to be true to yourself.

Always be true to yourself.  Always be the professional.

Your comments are appreciated.

Thinking About Playing the Race Card! Think Again!

The Race Card

I run this post every every once in a while.  It will always be relevant and I believe it is true.    Do remember that the no matter what your color, the your use of race  or ethnicity in you assessment of whether you were treated fairly in receiving a promotion or favor is in essence ‘playing the race card’.  Only involve race, color,  or ethnicity  when you really believe it was truly unfairly utilized against you, and you  have some substantiation to  prove it!

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Are you playing the race card?  Without doubt, this is a loaded question.  Playing the race card in the work setting is similar to dropping a hand grenade in a prayer session.  It is polarizing and negative and changes the landscape and the game.  Quite frankly, it creates an explosion when you do it, and even if there are no casualties, you have created strident enemies all around you.

What is this ‘thing’ we call the race card and is there ever a time to use it?

Simple Definitions

To capture the definition of race card, I visited Wikipedia.  It is not always the most credible source, but it puts a stake in the ground of controversial subjects including this one:

According to Wikipedia:

In the less critical sense, the phrase is commonly used in two contexts. In the first, and more common context, it alleges that someone has deliberately and falsely accused another person of being a racist in order to gain some sort of advantage.[1] (Continued)

In the second context, it refers to someone exploiting prejudice against another race for political or some other advantage. The use of thesouthern strategy by a political candidate is said by some to be a version of playing the race card, such as when former Senator Jesse Helms, during his 1990 North Carolina Senate campaign ran an ad showing a black man taking a white man’s job, intended as a criticism of the idea of racial quotas. The ad was interpreted by many people as trying to play to racist fears among white voters.

Excerpted from “Race Card”, Wikipedia 9/3/2011

The most important portion of the definition of “race card” from Wikipedia above is accentuated here:

“…it alleges that someone has deliberately and falsely accused another person of being a racist in order to gain some sort of advantage.”

Quite simply put, the race card manifest itself in our business environment in a couple of profound ways:

  • An individual (let’s say Black employee) suggest issues involving race as the reason for some less than desirable action on the part of a manager or superior, which results in an impairment or disadvantage.  The employee specifically cites race or racism as being evident.
  • A manager or another employee attempts to discredit an employee (let’s say Black employee) by falsely suggesting that the employee has cited race as the reason for a particular treatment or actions.

There are other ways that it can play out, yet these represent some of the more prominent issues that have to do with this interchange.  No one wants to be discredited.  Not the manager, nor the employee.  The mere mention that one feels discriminated against is toxic in an organization, so both of these are problematic.

Falsely accusing someone of being racist is a simple concept.  It is wrong and playing that card is detrimental to all Black professionals who are working to be the best that they can be.  Misrepresenting what an employee thinks or feels about any aspect of discrimination to pre-empt an action or discussion is just as wrong.

So playing the race card can mean a lot of things, but it happens both ways.  Both ways are detrimental to good relations, and we should be real careful about alleging that race and racism is a motivation unless it is quite evident.

What if it is true?  If it is true, you might phrase that as ’playing the race card’ as well, yet be very careful as being able to prove the truth is not an easy task.  Even though ‘the truth will set you free’, it may not get you justice in a case like this.

What Can You Prove?

It is always smart to avoid any claim that you cannot prove.  Remember, “It is not what you know, it is what you can prove!” With that in mind, your claims regarding management should be restrained when it comes to racism, and always yield to that which you can substantiate.

If you have a provable claim of disparate treatment, you should have discussions on the basis of that treatment, not racism.  In other words, if you are being treated unfairly, have those discussions with the manager or HR; yet be reserved with any race card.   The best HR professionals will understand you and your claim if you are clear, and if the claim is actionable, they will act on it.  Good HR professionals consider the possibility racism, whether they tell you or not.

I always say “what you can prove” because racism (in this case) is an attitude which is evidenced by how a manager treats his/her employees.  Proving that there is a racist attitude means nothing if it is not accompanied by activities that show discrimination.  What are you trying to prove?  Proving that you are discriminated against is difficult, yet doable, but it is not easy at all

Win the Smart Way

Don’t make assertions based on the race card.  Challenge management to be fair and unbiased, and you can do that without charges that are extremely difficult to prove.  Stand up for yourself and keep good objective records that will substantiate any objective complaints that you might have.

If you suspect that there is a problem, bounce the situation off of a mentor (if you trust him/her) or a confidant in another field or industry for tips on how they would handle it.  Most bona fide professionals can ‘smell’ racism when it is present.  Always base your complaints on fairness and equity unless it is something simple to prove.  Fairness and equity are important and lend themselves to reasonable proof.  Unfortunately racism is insidious and it is never lends itself to easy proof.

An example of fairness and equity is illustrated in this example:

Your manager is giving all of the new prospects to someone else, and you need new prospects, you should consider approaching that on the basis of fairness and equity even though you suspect racism.

Benefit – It puts everyone on notice that you recognize that you are not being treated fairly.

Weakness – You don’t change what has happened in the past, only go forward.

In this situation, you speak to the manager openly and frankly about what you believe is the disparity.  The manager should be the first stop, and he or she will recognize that you are being a professional by bringing it to him/her first.   If it persists, your next stop is HR to discuss the actions.  You will get some advice from there about how to proceed, yet realize that you need your “ducks in a row” as you consider going above your manager.

If it is repairable, it normally can be done at that level.  Always be the professional in your actions.  It will pay dividends.

Your comments are appreciated.