Black Sales Journal

In the August 22nd post (Black Sales Journal  8/22, Improper Racial Comments from Your Co-Workers) we discussed how you might want to consider reacting when co-workers make improper or inappropriate comments.  Co-workers are obviously peers, and your reactions may not have to be measured.  The principals that apply when the individual who makes the comment is your manager or a senior executive may require more calculation and measurement.

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Insensitivity and racism exists, and it is not institutional as it is an individual’s personal problem in most cases.  This insensitivity coupled with a lack of respect for racial differences can be vexing.  When it is not handled correctly, it manifests itself as organizations being called racist, when it is actually a particular (or more than one) manager who is the problem.

No one can predict the source or the timing of these types of comments, we just know that as long as you are interacting, there is a possibility that an improper remark will happen.

These are Not Mistakes!

Everyone comes from a different station in life, and their ability to relate to others is hindered by a lack of understanding others and their sensitivity.  Sometimes, it comes across as being insensitive, sometimes rude, and in other instances, it can rank as downright boorish. The fact of the matter is that many, but not all of these statements represent unadulterated displays of racial prejudice.  Be smart enough to know the difference, as they deserve different courses of action.  Be smart, not oversensitive.

I honestly encountered this during my early years of employment, and quickly learned, as will you, who the source of these types of comments would be.  These types of comment are not mistakes.  They are utterances of ones viewpoints, and in many cases a window into one’s upbringing.  I explain this in Black Sales Journal 12/30/2010, Preference, Perceptions, and Prejudice and Your Employer.

I had an opportunity to cover an issue like this in Black Sales Journal 6/27, Changing Racial Perceptions.   This is one you should check out.   I write about it under the sub-heading “Perceptions – An Example from My Past”.   Frankly, as a young sales professional I did not know what to do.  I was left speechless, and that was the last time.

I don’t care if it is 2011, these comments do still happen.  No one cares about hearing an apology from someone for making the statement when the problem is that someone actually feels this way, and they are your superiors at your place of employement.

Measured Reactions When it comes from “the Top”

When a manager or a senior executive makes a comment that is offensive the other managers and employees who are listening immediately sense the impact of the statement.  Many get uncomfortable, and some want to exit.  Remember this in the examples of actions that I suggest, it is the moment of truth, but the group is your ally.  Groups (the audience to your comment) have a way of being very uncomfortable when someone is singled out, and unjustly aggrieved.

When the comment is made, the audience and you are affected:

• Something wrong has been said
• Someone has been wronged or hurt (You)
• There are witnesses to this wrong, and they are victims as well

It is at this point that your actions are most visible, and most observed.  You cannot avoid the spotlight, and your face will quickly show something is a problem.

Here is what you need to remember:

• Don’t be afraid to show that you are disturbed if you are. You do not have to be stoic.
• Show your maturity by not reacting improperly as you are a professional.
• Exiting the conversation speaks volumes, even more than the suggestion of exiting the conversation when it is a peer. Leaving shows your feelings about the comment, and the commenter.
• Match the gravity of the comment to any verbal response you might have, yet I will guarantee you that if the comment has any gravity at all, an “excuse me” will result in a future discussion, or even an apology in the very near future.

Realistically, any apology may be more for having said the comment rather than feeling those things that compelled them to make it.  An apology or admission that the comment was inappropriate will show that this comment should not have been uttered.

These Remarks Are About Power

When you hear a remark that is improper and inappropriate from a manager it is usually results in feeling vulnerable, at least at that moment.  Factually, you should not accept it even if alcohol is involved.  I mention alcohol, as that is a common excuse. The ”he had too much to drink” bit is not kosher, and any manager’s drinking issue is not your problem.

Trust me, no manager wants to have a discussion with his/her manager or human resources about remarks they make involving race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation to a employee.  What is even more problematic is if they have to have that conversation because there was more than one incident.  Most employers, especially large ones have no tolerance for that discussion, especially after the first time.

The Role of Human Resources

I have had the pleasure of working with some very good HR professionals.  As a manager I recognize their focus on the well being of the employee and their willingness to take a manager to task when it is truly necessary.

If you feel aggrieved by a comment, you definitely should approach HR and frankly tell the story.  This is definitely a situation where “the truth will set you free”.  Advise what was said including the audience, and how that made you feel.  Be factual and not emotional.

There are a couple of things that can happen when you talk to HR:

• The manager might be told to have a conversation with you, perhaps including an apology
• The manager can receive a memo of either admonishment or reprimand.
• There is a possibility of the manager being placed in ‘sensitivity or diversity training’.
• If this is a repeat incident, there could be more harsh punishment meted out including termination.

Intelligently realize that you should only involve HR if you really feel aggrieved and they will help you sort it out, as this is not a trivial matter.  Don’t be thin skinned or you will lose credibility.

It goes without saying that you need to avoid jokes about any of those forbidden topics, and stay “clean” yourself.  Recognize that peers and managers should show you respect, and you should do the same.

Your comments are appreciated.  Write me at Michael.Parker@blacksalesjournal.com.

The sales profession is one-of-a-kind. There are ups and downs, ins and outs, and a whole list of goods and ‘bads’ that make it both rewarding and challenging. You will go through some trials, but my hope and prayer is that you don’t have to go through some of the ones that I endured.  Check these out!

The Boss Comes to Town

I was a sales representative for a major insurance company in commercial business sales.  I was young, and thought that I was on track to get somewhere, yet nothing was assured.

I was at a sales meeting, and was sitting at a table with the  Sr. Vice President for our business unit, who was someone that I had only seen his picture in company publications.  We will call him Bob F. I don’t know why he sat at our table, yet we were all exhibiting our best manners.

During a lull in the meeting a sales associate of mine, who happened to be Black as well (there were 3 of us out of 62 sales professionals) began to criticize one of the local college basketball coaches.  He was a venerable older coach who was not winning the ‘big one’ but was respectable.

The SVP listened to us from behind his newspaper, and then slammed his had down on the table and said, “How dare you criticize him.  One day you will be judged on your record, just like him, and you should hope you stand up to the criticism.” He went on to say, “If you two would stop reading the sports pages, and start reading the financial pages, one day maybe you will amount to something!”  He then stormed from the table.

I wanted to be rude in my response, but was calculated.  As a single parent of three, I needed my job badly.  It is unfortunate that someone is “judged” like that.  He did not know either of us.

To this day, there is nothing that has ever infuriated me like that comment.  He did not know, but I was reading a lot more than the financial pages.  Whether I did, or did not, it was not his business.  We were merely having a conversation within his earshot.  What is larger than that was the perception that we were absorbed in the sports pages, which was something that I seldom read, or read now.

He made that assumption based on his perception, and how categorically wrong it was.  Needless to say, he was long retired before I moved up in to a senior vice president and executive vice president roles, yet I have often relived how I should have reacted to him.  I made sure that I respected our young professionals regardless of color and gave good constructive counsel without inserting my view of what they “must” be like.

Hello, I am Your New Sales Representative!

I was more than willing to accept, and take a chance on, any reassigned account, as it was a way to increase sales revenue.  I needed new accounts badly.

This account was medium in size, and although complicated, well within my capabilities as a new sales representative.  After much preparation I made my first visit to the account to make my introduction and discuss a change in pricing on the account.  My sales manager accompanied me on the call, as the increased price was sure to be a touchy issue.

After the introduction it was obvious that the call was not going to be warm and fuzzy.  The customer, who was an older individual, sat motionless with a foul expression even before the increase in price was discussed. Once pricing was discussed, the customer slammed his hand down on the desk and said, “This is bull _ _ _ _ , you are trying to put me out of business!”.  “I will not accept this!  Get the hell out of my office!” he ranted.  We made a feeble attempt to explain the pricing but were told again to “Get out now!”

We gathered our materials and made a hasty retreat.  The buyer followed us through the open office, full of his employees, ranting at us.  On our drive back to the office, my manager and I discussed the call and it was obvious that neither of us expected the reaction, price increases were happening everywhere and ours was modest compared to others.

Upon arriving at the office the Regional Sales Manager (my sales manager’s boss) called me to discuss.  The customer had called him and advised that he was ticked and that they were going to move their business if a change was not made.   I told the Regional Sales Manager that I had done everything possible on the pricing.  He said to me “It is not the pricing that he wants to change, he wants you off of the account.  He advised that he was not going to work with you based on your race.”  I knew from the conversation that he was sparing me the actual comments made.

Then came a statement that changed my life.  He indicated that he told the account that if that is the way you feel, “He is our sales representative, and if you work with us, you will work with Michael.  If not, we will, at your suggestion, terminate your account.”The account ‘fired us’ later that day he indicated that he was moving his business and never would return.

Lunch With “the Guys”

I highlighted this situation in one of my Black Sales Journal articles over year ago.  Sales is historically one of the loneliest professions.  Countless hours of cold calling in high-rises and industrial manufacturing complexes and numerous hours on the phone tend to put you in the mood for some type of camaraderie.  This was usually reserved for paydays.

We ‘lunched’ at local restaurant exchanging stories.  There were six of us, and I was the only African-American. At that time, I was the only Black sales professional in our office ahead more than 30 sales professionals.

The subject of automobile accidents came up and here’s the dialogue that followed:

“People are driving crazy these days! On the way to the office this morning I almost got hit by a car load of nig…” He paused before the word could be completed. There was not a person at the table that did not know what he was going to say next.  There was also not a person at the table that was not quickly and silently embarrassed.  You could see them thinking, “What in the heck is he doing?” I don’t know what normally happened when I was not at lunch with them, but today I happened to be there, and the comfort level was just a little too high.

The table fell silent, and I felt I needed to reinforce what happened by allowing the silence to be deafening. My associate exited to the washroom, and everyone turned and looked at me. I thought that was interesting, but it was an expected reaction. One of my associates said, “I thought you were going to clock him!”  I responded, “Then you don’t know me at all.”  You could cut the tension with a knife at that point.

Had I not been there the conversation would have continued.  Had I not been there tension would not have enveloped the table.Had I not been there no one would’ve been embarrassed.  Being there served as a stark reminder that things are often different when you are not around!

When he came back to the table, I took the opportunity to say, “so what happened next?” Letting him know that I heard everything he said clearly and succinctly.  He paused in obvious discomfort.  As everyone else had a sandwich stuck in the throat, I gave him a less than threatening stare and finished the last bite of my food.

Later that afternoon at the office, several individuals present at the lunch came over to me and told me how uncomfortable they were.  But… I know that had not been present there is a strong possibility that no one would have been uncomfortable with the language that was used.

Conclusion

I think it is better in this day and age, but the underlying problems can still exist for some professionals of color.  I think the key is to never overreact.  Coworkers, customers, and upper management all showed to be a challenge at some point or other.  I can only emphasize that I worked with an outstanding company, and with a wonderful group of people, on average, and was blessed with customers that I still consider friends to this day.

Make the best of all of it, and always learn from others.  Always be prepared!

Your comments are welcome.